i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
