i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
