The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
