I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
