I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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