Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
