girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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