I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
