the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize