I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
