just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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