then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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