That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
