I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
