Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
