Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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