did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
