You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
