sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
