maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
