What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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