I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
