I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
