Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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