I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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