So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
