wat bout pragnant strippers??
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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