ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
