You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
