If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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