i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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