Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I want to make a zoo with you.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
