Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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