i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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