tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How does one acquire holy water?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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