And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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