Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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