I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
