Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
