Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
