At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
