The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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