that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
