you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
