Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
