so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
