I wish my penis had an off switch
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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