I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
