I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I need a beard to bite.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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