My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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