im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
